In the beginning of this year, I found a foundation through a friend that raises money for research into new treatments and cures for pediatric cancers. The participants raise money by shaving their heads. For about a few weeks, I investigated the website. I read the stories of the kids who had/have cancer. I read about the parents of kids with cancer. I read about the research that's being funded. I read about the people who started the foundation and the people involved. All of that reading prompted some serious reflection. I've been exceedingly lucky. Cancer has only peripherally touched my life. A friend's parent or a friend's nephew would get it. Some fought mighty battles and overcame, others succumbed, and few were children. I thought of my own disgustingly healthy children. I'd already donated, but I decided I wanted to give something back. I'm not much of a fund raiser. I won't get in your face and ask for money. I thought, though, that I might be able to raise more than the paltry sum I could afford to give. In that spirit, I signed up to be a shavee. In bigger cities, like Seattle, they have huge events where everyone gets their head shaved together in a very party-like atmosphere. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any events in the entire state of Montana nor in Spokane, WA, which is the nearest 'city.' So, I decided to go it alone and do a virtual event. I thought I might be able to get the company I work for involved and we could make our own event out of it. I was unable to drum up any interest in it at work. Instead, the kids and I hatched up a plan to do it at our house. We'll have friends and family (and anyone in the area who donates). It will be our own party. Thanks to everyone that donated I'm $120 from my goal!

Something that I didn't expect came in the form of the lessons that this experience taught me. I already knew that people garner a great deal of self worth from their appearance. How many times have I whinged on and on about mine here? But I didn't realize how anathema the idea of a woman shaving her head could be. When I did my bit of reflection on signing up, I thought a bit about being bald. My response was, "It's only hair. It'll grow back." That response hasn't changed. My personality and self-esteem are not tied to the mop of dead cells hanging from my scalp. I'm excited about to not having to deal with fixing my hair for a while. I'm more worried about handling the attention that my bald pate will garner than I am about being bald in itself. In fact, I'm looking forward to the shaving. We're going to have a really good time with the shaving and painting of my head. (Yes, there will be pictures!) And, the kids and I have had a great time 'destroying' my hair this summer. You've seen the colors that it's been this year. Once I decided to shave it, the mental blocks to dyeing it all the colors I wanted just fell away. Did it matter if I looked silly or melted my hair into a big lump? Nope, I was gonna shave it anyway! Plus, the attention was a good way to acclimate me to the attention to come from being bald and I used it inform people of the cause. :)

Anyway, I guess I wanted to clear up some of the 'mystery' around why I wanted to shave my head. My Mom calls it sacrifice, which is a bit melodramatic to me. I just felt that I could do more good this way, than by throwing a few bucks in the kitty. Me being bald is a small price to pay, in my opinion.

Oh, yeah, and, if anyone wants to help me push past that final hurdle and reach my goal, you can find my shavee page here.